In the past, I've shared with you my views on the purpose and benefits
of learning to coach your preteens and teens. Recently, I was interviewed
about life coaching for kids by Daughters.com for their July/August issue.
In the article, their editor, Helen Cordes, reported that "More universities
are offering life coaching resources, with studies showing that students
given a year's life coaching get higher grades and stay in school more than

uncoached students."

Parents who have cultivated their Parent Coaching skills also report
great results in not only motivating their kids to meet their educational
and health goals, but also their goals in developing great relationships
with their family and friends. So, it's easy to assume that coaching works
in any situation. Not so! But, when is it NOT appropriate to coach
your kids?

<> When You're in an Emergency Situation

Some geographic regions in the U.S. are experiencing "extreme fire"
conditions. If there's a raging fire in your neighborhood, this
is not the time to initiate a dialog about how the fire might have started
and how it could have been prevented. Just get everyone into a safety
zone--fast!

<> When Your Child Doesn't Have the Necessary Skills

If your teen wants to make Strawberry Shortcake for the family this summer,
but she or he has never done it before, asking this type of question, "How
will you prepare this dessert?" won't help. Share your favorite recipe
and be available to answer "how to" questions.

<> When You Have Critical Information Your Teen Needs

When you need to relay important information, that's telling--not coaching.
For example, once your teens begin driving, they need to be kept informed
about any developments concerning teen driving laws. When proposed
legislation on restricting teen driving passes in your state, make sure you
tell your teens about the new laws.   

Knowing when and when not to coach will no doubt help you give your kids
what they need--when they need it.

Coaching helps teens make better choices and helps them sort through
their problems and challenges without creating a dependence on you for
making decisions. Coaching IS appropriate when teens need encouragement
and support to keep moving forward; it's appropriate when you want to
promote self-discovery and self-responsibility.

In summary,  to be a skilled Parent Coach, it's just as important to know
when to coach as it is when NOT to. Coaching is an advanced form of
communicating and relating; you'll create an environment of trust between
you and your child that serves as a solid foundation from which he or she
can safely explore and develop into a healthy, contributing adult.

My best,
Barbara

Barbara McRae,   My Blog
MCC Author, Coach, Parent/Teen Expert
www.TeenFrontier.com
www.EnhancedLife.com
www.20-Something-Careers.com
Neon Whispers™