Here's a question just in from parents of a beautiful, bright, athletic, and popular 16-year-old daughter
who's boyfriend of two years constantly gets in trouble with the law and blames everyone else for
his problems. He's stopped going to school and treats their daughter poorly, but she still wants him in her life! The parents don't understand the attraction, can't stand witnessing it anymore and want to step in but are hesitant.
As a mom, I know that we want the best for our kids and that includes them having healthy relationships. Why are good girls drawn to “bad” boys? Well, there are plenty of reasons:
My recommendation to the parents follows... You are quite right that in the long term, a serious relationship with this boy is most likely not in your daughter’s best interest. I know it’s tempting to tell her about your concerns and yet that’s what can cause your daughter to stay in the relationship even more. You are better off taking the time to validate her as a person and use your newly acquired Parent Coach skills to rekindle your bond. How do you tell a friend that the man in her life is no good? Hmm…that’s right…you probably wouldn’t.
It’s my observation that the more that parents try to prevent their teens from dating or marrying a certain person, the more likely it is that they will carry out their plan—simply to prove that they can.
Better to have a close relationship with your daughter and focus on seeing her as someone who makes good choices and treat her accordingly.
All the best-
Barbara
Barbara McRae, My Blog
MCC Author, Coach, Parent/Teen Expert
www.TeenFrontier.com
www.EnhancedLife.com
www.20-Something-Careers.com
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