My good friend, Bob, does not feel empathy. I don't mean just in certain instances or under specific conditions, I mean he does not understand what it's like to walk in anyone else's shoes. Ever. Nor does he aspire to, because the concept mystifies him, and he claims that it is a basically meaningless exercise. I personally think it scares the crap out of him. 
Men like Bob often find themselves filed under "sociopath." Fortunately, Bob and his eerily-similar friend, Michael, practice compassion, generosity and ethics ~ almost to the extreme. Which, to those in the know, is mind-boggling. They function this way, because they understand the Universal Law of treating others the way you wish to be treated yourself. Besides, it's important for them to see themselves as heroes, so they are both great contributors to society and dedicated to humanity. They are brilliant, too, for the most part. Except for those times when it's imperative to accurately see from another's point of view. Then they're completely clueless. They are so transfixed by their own conclusions about life, they literally cannot see things any other way. Thus, all of their assumptions about how and what other people think and feel are based on their personal perspectives, fears, ambitions, and biases. 
Oddly, Bob and Michael consciously choose to remain emotionally semi-conscious in life. They cannot blame painful childhood memories, as both grew up in enviable situations with doting parents. Neither endured the trauma of war. Both were "golden-haired" boys in their respective careers. And their failed marriages merit pragmatic shrugs, at best. (Can you imagine trying to establish an intimate relationship with someone who "shuts down" at the first sign of intense emotions?) They choose emotional lock-down, because they've convinced themselves that feelings degrade their intellect. 
Children and nameless masses are Bob and Michael's preferred comfort zones. Children flock to these guys like they flock to ice cream trucks. It's a sight to behold. I suspect that Michael and Bob revel in the emotional simplicity that kids' abject honesty and spontaneity provide. Thus, the guys can temporarily abandon the tedious 24/7 strategizing that dominates their brains. They embrace their child-selves to get away from it all. Kids love the big boys, because they become furniture, adventure rides, monsters, goof-balls, athletes, magicians. . . the wackier, the better. It's a gift. Bob and Michael also have that gift with people en masse. Give 'em a crowd, whether it's a staff, a congregation, or an audience, and these guys come alive. Both of them have incredible life experiences, and as I mentioned earlier, are brilliant, so they have a lot to share. And they do it with panache. The milling energy and emotions feed them, without demanding any understanding. It's the perfect venue to love and be loved unconditionally, without the mess that generally accompanies intimacy. I wonder when, or if, Bob and Michael will realize that they are not sparing themselves anything, and are in fact, depriving themselves of half of life. All those icky emotions contain important information for the soul ~ information that will make its way to their consciousness sooner or later. They both know that "what you resist, persists." They may not realize that resisted emotions ultimately become excruciating. Open up, Boys. It's for the best. 
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Kitty R. Connell
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