I had the opportunity to volunteer for a Peace Day event today at a Denver low-income housing community. Some of the kids were very shy at first about making a talking stick at our booth. Others were gung-ho experts at glueing and creating their sticks. What was most interesting to me was to see how parents handled their children. One father was pushy with his son and wouldn't let him do the stick by himself. Another mother modeled for her shy son by making her own stick and asking him what he thought. He soon became very involved.

Notice how many words we use to describe people that are touch related (handled and pushy are examples from above.)

Why do some parents have the knack of calming and quieting their children, and others don't? I proclaim that it's mainly from the environment they grew up in. Were their parents fearful, uptight, anxious, depressed, angry? Were they spanked or otherwise abused? How much and what type of touch did they receive? Or were their parents understanding, patient, self-confident, relaxed and nurturing through kind words and compassionate touch? Parenting is a generational cycle that often results in behaviors we take for granted and don't believe we can change.

Hhowever, change is possible. it's up to each and every one of us to decide what messages we came to believe and now hold, mostly subconsciously, and whether they are limiting or not as adults. I recommend a book I just finished, "The Power of Belief: Essential Tools for an Extraordinary Life" by Ray Dodd. It's short and clear with useful tools.